VALDER GIBSON
Hobe Sound

Grandparents raising five kids ‘wouldn’t trade them for nothing in the world’

Why is doing the right thing so rarely the easy thing?
If Valder and Nathaniel Gibson had a spare second to ponder philospohical questions, that’s one they might tackle.
But it’s up to us to say that the good, right thing this Hobe Sound couple is doing is harder than anything most of us have ever attempted.
They’re raising five — soon to be six — grandchildren, ages 2 to 10.
“They need to be with family,” says Valder, 54.
When Valder’s daughter couldn’t care for her children, the couple gathered up the kids in their strong arms — arms that are used to hard work, but maybe not this hard — and made room for them in their lives and in their hearts.
“Your old life stops, and you have to start all over again,” laughs Valder, 54, who somehow maintains her sense of humor while children tumble like puppies around her way-too-tiny house.
The arrangement that was supposed to be temporary became permanent just before Christmas last year.
Valder’s estranged 30-year-old daughter, Chelsea — the children’s mother — died of MRSA, an antibiotic-resistant staph infection, shortly after giving birth to her seventh child.
“I couldn’t let them go to the state,” Valder says. “They would have been separated.”
Five of the kids, ages 3 to 10, are living with the Gibsons. They hope to get custody of Lailah, 2, now in foster care. Valder’s other daughter is raising the baby boy who never knew his mother.
For a while, the kids lived with friends. Then, Nathaniel found a house in Hobe Sound they could rent cheaply. It has two bedrooms and one bathroom.
“We helped Granny clean the whole inside,” says Aaliyha proudly. At 10, she’s the oldest, quick and smart in that I-can-rule-the-world way fifth-graders have.
Because the house is so small, the scruffy front yard is the kids’ only playroom. Snakes and a malfunctioning septic tank put the back yard off limits.
Valder works the night shift and as much overtime as possible at an assisted living center. Her job pays for the family’s insurance.
Nathaniel, 48, is a part-time handyman who is looking for a job with better pay. In the afternoons, he drives Jailyn, 7, to football practice and Aaliyha and Kashia, 9, to praise dancing at their Missionary Baptist Church.
Each night, Nathaniel serves them the dinner Valder makes before going to work. The worn wooden table is so tiny they have to eat in shifts. Nathaniel checks homework amd tucks them into the two sets of bunk beds, where the littlest girls share a mattress.
“I wouldn’t trade them for nothing in the world,” says this warm bear hug of a man.
When Valder gets home at midnight, she folds laundry while sorting her own list of worries: How can we rent a larger house? Will their aging van make it another week? How will they pay for Kashia’s hearing aid and a specialist for JaKailyn, 3, who walks on her toes? What if the four who have asthma get sick all at the same time?
“I’ll be 70 when the last one graduates from high school,” she says with a sigh.

The Gibson family’s wishes

What they asked for: Money to rent a larger house and make car repairs, and to buy the children Christmas presents to make up for last year’s holiday when their mother died.
What they received: Port St. Lucie dentist Dr. Aaron Schamback donated dental work for Nathaniel. Donations are being used to move the family to a better apartment. They bought bikes and other gifts with donated gift cards. A computer has been donated.
What they said: “It’s been a blessed Christmas,” says Valder. Adds her husband, Nathaniel, “This is the best Christmas we’ve had in a long, long time. There are kind people out there.”

Nominated by: Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Martin County
Address: 5033 S.E. Federal Highway Stuart, FL 34997
Phone: (772) 283-8373
Its mission: Provide professionally managed one-to-one mentoring to children to help them succeed.